I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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