Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
