Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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