I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
