Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Come see our sink grown plant.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
