do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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