When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
