***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
