I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
