she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
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