I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize