We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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