p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
