Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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