Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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