wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
me + whiskey = a bad person
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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