I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
