tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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