So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
