Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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