How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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