im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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