Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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