I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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