I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
