Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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