I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
