one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
