my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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