i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
