eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
