yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
