fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
