"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize
