R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
he's gonorrhea incarnate
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
