I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
