I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
