Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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