I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
