Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
