saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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