It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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