So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
