the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
