WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
