Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
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