You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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