she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
