I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
