moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize
