ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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