Don't you send me to vm
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
