is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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