I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
