I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
