I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
