I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
