Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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