My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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